Independence at Last!- August 15, 1947

I have often dreamt of this moment. I have often imagined this moment. But never did I expect it to so eloquently come while I am living. I am so fortunate to see that India has finally attained independence from the unjust rule of the British! It is news of great joy, and after embarking on a journey so great I have come to conclude that the force behind India's independence does not lie with me. All the credit goes to the people of India who have sacrificed so much, taken so many blows, and still risen out of the rubble to fight until they die. I am proud of every single Indian, and Muslim of course, that has helped me protest. I am grateful to all that have appreciated my works, my thoughts, my ideals and beliefs, and my forms of action. I hope I have not been too rash to all the people- yet I feel whatever we have done has been done for the better good of society. Today, on this bright day, August 14, 1947 we have finally achieved a state of purity, a state of freedom, and a state of equality. Our unceasing fights have finally paid off.

Yet, once again, another tragedy bothers me as I write this. Jinnah, as the talks have confirmed, is deciding to make another Pakistan. For the purpose of avoiding a civil war, I have agreed to him creating a separate nation Pakistan- solely for the purpose of no more riots and fights. This decision, I pray, will eventually help the Muslims realize that divided, we will not last too long. I wish Jinnah could just see how we could mediate the efforts between the two groups- as I have done before by my fasting. But this time matters seem out of hand once again.

Putting aside this thought- I pray for the betterment of Pakistan as well. Pakistani's should live just as equally as we do- there is simply no need for discrimination. I will therefore go to give a lecture in Pakistan and explain how we are all still the same, and now that all Muslims live in another nation, we(Hindus) should not be forgotten... We are all still equals. I still consider the Pakistani's my brothers.

I am looking forward to walking out into my free India now, as I prepare for the long journey to Pakistan tomorrow. Once again I hope for the best- good bye for now diary...

Tensions on Independence- Hindu and Muslim Riots- 1946

I have recently been released from prison and another piece of distressing news has hit me. It keeps haunting me so I am forced to write about my experience dealing with the news here. After my release, I had been notified that though with the touch of independence on the brink of success, riots have broken out between our brothers and sisters. Hindus and Muslims are fighting recklessly, claiming one racial group is better than the other. The tensions are continuously increasing and both feel that there will be no adequate representation in government. My dear Jinnah is also siding with the perception that Muslims are discriminated against- although I am taking full measures to ensure such a calamity may not fall upon my dear Musilm friends' heads.

I remember when I was a child, living with my father in Porbandar, we often used to visit a temple. The priest, or person who recited the daily prayers, recited verse from both the Hindu Gita and Muslim Koran.(the two books are religious scriptures from Hindu and Muslim descent- it is similar to the Bible of the Christians.) The priest only cared that God was being worshipped- in the process I also got to learn the Muslim ways. The way the Hindus and Muslims right now are dividing themselves is of utmost concern. It pains me deeply.

Violence is breaking across the nation. Both sides are currently unwilling to compromise and talks have begun about the division of India. My dear friend Jinnah has given up the opportunity of becoming the first prime minister of India and has also leaned toward the ways of the Muslim rebels. They are still fighting greatly and this distraughts me. I wished for a united India, not an independent India with factional divisions. I am in deep agony and will go and try to talk to many of my Muslim brothers after we have attained independence. But let you keep in mind dear diary, these are just talks and rumors so far. Nothing more. At least I wish not. Till next entry of independence, I bid farewell!

Once Again Back in Prison.. -1932

I have again been put back in prison, for my "sedition" efforts on speaking out against the unjust rule of Britain again. These frequent trips to prison are no longer heart-breaking, but rather more welcoming. This prison is like a open spot to think and take decisive action. And as always, I have found another way to help the untouchables of our caste system.

Before I continue, let me clarify dear diary, I have often been faced with the problem of untouchables being regarded as inferior. They are a part of our "caste system" and reside at the complete bottom. They are discriminated against, their works and jobs are of abject conditions, and others continuous derogatory comments only debilitate their morality. Though it may be considered an anomaly, I actually support the untouchables for all the work they do- as I may have mentioned earlier, I used to clean the latrines to eliminate all sorts of hierarchal discrimination. I still stand by my position on the equality of all castes in India- no longer should we judge others by what caste they are of, and neither should we assign them jobs with their position in society.

I,therefore, have made the decision to fast until death if untouchables are not regarded as equals of other members in society. Hopefully my death itself will force the people to see the injustice towards our own people! God has created us all equally- we must treat each other with tantamount respect. The British have created a separate electorate just for the untouchables- this is also a form if inequality.

Another Chance for Hope- 1931

I have recently been released from prison! Oh how good it feels to be back at my home, my ashram. I feel like all the problems that once weighed down on my chest are gone... I have never had more pride in anyone than the people who stood up to the factory and took the British's violence; in the whole time, doing so, they did not fight back or retaliate in any form. I am especially proud of the way the women set up small medical posts to help and cure the wounded. The British recklessly attacked with bayonet ends, and struck at the head, spine, and body. Young men were hurt terribly, from what I hear, and this part of the news saddens me. But my joy of hearing they did not vindictively fight back brightens my day. I feel strengthened, and ready to continue my mission towards India's independence.

Today, another good news has fortunately reached me. I have been invited by Britain's representatives to take part in congressional meeting in London. This is termed the Round Table Conference where peace talks and possibilities of independence for India will be brought into consideration. I hope the conversation runs fairly well and smoothly- and that we are able to conclude a mutual relationship with benefits for both sides. I will spend quite some time in Britain. They have already taken a step forward by releasing all prisoners of the protest. I hope this symbiotic relationship continues...

My Arrest after Salt Satyagraha- May 5, 1931

I, sadly, have been arrested. To all my dear friends out there, I hope the best is brought out in all of you. Though these words are simply being written in my diary, I am sure this message is reaching a place in your heart. Though I will not endure the fights, protest, and firm stand with you- I will be here in prison, praying. I will write about my perceptions and hopefully the good news of a Salt Satyagraha will approach me in no time.

I have no doubt on any of my fellow Indians- pray nothing goes wrong today.

My New Movement... The Salt March-March 12,1931

I am today embarking on a treacherous and long journey to help all the Indians across the country of India realize there are people who are willing to fight and take action. I am devoted to the betterment of this nation and, to prove our position as a firm part of society, we are embarking on a great Salt March. This Salt March will cover 240 miles and we will eventually arrive at a village near Dandi...

This may seem like a trifling experience or event to put fort with, but I can assure you it carries more meaning than its name may suggest. Salt, like other basic living necessities, is necessary to the living of mankind. We can not live without salt, as it controls the pulse of our hearts- the same way it will help us eventually control the nation's pulse. The salt we will make naturally from the oceans will demonstrate that we are not scared to use our mother land's natural resources. The Indian Ocean is ours- why should we be scared to use our own natural resources? This is now what dear God and all of our Indian fathers would have done.

If we are breaking a law, we are doing so correctly because unjust laws are meant to be broken. I believe that we should put upa fight not for vengeful actions- but to show that what the British are doing is incorrect. I, therefore, am not scared to violate or obstruct any law. As transient as this event may seem, I pray it leaves a drastic impact to shatter the willpower of the British and weaken them. Let me clarify, when I speak of weaken, I mean morally, not physically. Dear diary, I hope for the best because today one of the most populated movements will take shape. I am getting ready to leave for the march- there are already people gathered outside as I continue to write the entry. It is nearing noon and we have a long 24 day journey to encounter. I must say, it does seem very exciting and monumental for me. I have never been on such a great journey by foot and hope that my years of walking to and from office in South Africa pay off.

UPDATE

The day is now April 6, 1931 and we have successfully reached Dandi, and have successfully made our salt. We have proven ourselves and soon- to continue with our momentum- we will go to protest the Dharasana Salt Works( a large factory that operates to produce salt in great quantities). We will protest with Satyagraha there, and will show the British the land, the ocean, and the salt is ours...

My Speech August 1, 1920

I have recently written and presented a speech to my fellow Indians regarding the condition of our social status and the treatment the British have continuously given us. It is of utmost disturbance and has driven me to write, candidly I must claim, the tyrannic rule of the British and how it has always affected our economy and our lives. This is the time for change...

I wonder how the people wil react. For the most part, they seemed fairly appreciative towards my efforts and ideas. I hope their magic works for now- and until I write my next entry I bid farewell...

The Pain... The Agony- April 13, 1919

I do not know what is pulsing through the minds of the English, but it is not hard for me to claim they have indeed surpassed all limits. Shooting into the crowd, the British soldiers have killed mothers, newborns, fathers, and by doing so- have proven their recklessness and inability to maintain a stronghold on the nation India. The Amritsar Massacre is one of the most disturbing and important events in my life. General Dyer, the British soldier responsible for the attacks, seems completely shameless. The massacre has, like many other events, renewed my passion for fighting against the British- for their frantic actions of unscrupulous behavior have made me all the more but amiable towards them. Negotiations seem out of the question...

On this day, as I am hearing the news, I am weeping like a child... lost and confused. I am gaining strength again slowly and planning my next step towards the eradication of the British. This time, the step will be quite major- but do not take this step as a vindictive action... My perception the British aren't thinking wisely is confirmed as I come forth to take the next steppingstone towards success... The British will soon see it is indeed unwise to try and retain control with simply 100,000 soldiers(in comparison to 350 million Indians).

Welcome Back My Motherland-January 9, 1915

Oh how good it feels to be back home! I have been given a warm welcome here, as hundreds of people waited my arrival on the port from which I was to disembark. The welcome has been pleasing and my heart is flowing with gratefulness and utmost reverence from the bottom of my heart. The feeling is probably beyond the ability of words to describe it. I pray better for the future... Om Shanti

Bhramacharaya- 1906

As much as I hate to write this chapter, I must share my beliefs... I have recently taken a vow under the concept of Bhramacharaya. Bhramacharaya is pretty much abstinence from affairs with women out of my household, as well as my wife. I am basically abstaining from all forms of sexual activity- after living a married life. Why? What is teh point of this? What does this demonstrate?

It is all about the concept of self-control. It is similar to intemperate consumption of meat. I have also given up meat quite a while back- eagerly adopting the concept of vegetarianism. Why one again?

Both of these include the strict concept of self control. Self control is the core foundation of my campaign- for if I shall lose control throughout any point in this quest for equality I may soon turn out to be another Hitler, or man with corrupt ideals. We are all born with a specific insight and specific connection to each person we meet throughout our lives. This connection must be maintained- thus it is compulsory to dispel all thoughts or desires of sexual lust or desire with my wife Kasturbai. I have learned to control myself, and though, after 3-4 fail attempts I have finally overcome the turbulence. I am maintaining a steady stance and seem to be in good-shape as of now... Till next entry, I bid farewell

Returning to South Africa with Family and Helping the British During the Boer War- October 1899

I have just returned with my wife Kasturbai and three boys- back to South Africa and am willing to continue this fight for equality rights. God knows what lays ahead- but I can only so much state that I myself have never felt so much stronger. Now that my family is here, I feel resuscitated and alert. I feel more at home, and am glad to know I have others I can support and rely on. But this is a feeling that may go against myself as well- since it can be considered a portrayal of weakness; it demonstrates my insecurity fighting this battle- but I then again continue to vacillate by stating my ideas are all conjecture as of now. I must dispel this digression I have already made and revert back to the matter at hand.

Kasturbai, my wife, is doing fairly well as are my three sons. I wish to educate them at home- I do not want them exposed to different types of ideas or thoughts that may force them to make whimsical or rash decisions. Although my oldest son, Harilal, is not too obedient- I am sure it is just the teenage years that get more maverick-like; for as the body changes when the mind matures- it does indeed desire some form of independence from parents. I have begun to settle in well with my family- we have established a nice home in South Africa, walking distance to the Natal Indian Congress and as of now, all seems to be going well. I can,with certitude, claim that I have gained strength and courage to face my problems.

.....

UPDATE

I have just... rushed back from... helping the wounded in the hospital. Dear diary, I have spent many days aiding the British during the Boer War but not once have I denied my necessity to do so. There is a fierce battle going on- and Britain was once my home and my family. I cannot simply desert them when their time of need comes... I also have found a particular interest for nursing. It has taken deep persuasion to convince the members of the Natal Indian Congress to help... but I believe one day we will be recognized for our unremitting efforts... Pray God to decide the rest.

The Natal Indian Congress/ Settlement in India-August 22, 1894

I have decided, due to the tenacity of my friends, that I will indeed stay in South Africa to help my fellow Indians fight for their rights and ability to vote. The government has been unjust in claiming the Indians simply can't vote for their race; I myself find this completely unjustified. I have therefore decided to find the Natal Indian Congress- a collection, or organization you might like to call it, of Indians who will try their best to fight for their rights. With deference to Dadabhai Naoroji, who had presided over the Indian Natal Congress in 1893, I call for the new organization at the Natal Indian Congress.

I pray the society gathers all Indians as a community, with indifference to whether they are well-experienced in the field of politics, and dedicate themselves to the moral and social uplift of its members. I hope that this is not a "one-man show" and together, as a collective unit, we may overcome the injustice that is being done. Should any of the members digress from their intended purpose, I should try my best to bring them back on track and ready to fight again. I dearly hope this organization will be of great success...

Leaving for South Africa-April 1893

I am deeply sorry for not writing in this diary frequently- so much has happened that it is getting out of control. True, I have become a certified barrister, and am ready to take part in cases but somehow I cannot bring myself to assert my perceptions cohesively. Often my legs shake- I simply cannot bring myself to declare my stand firmly. After I realized my shyness was bringing others to doubt me, I "chickened out" and left the court in Bombay. I didn't know what to do and was lost... Was what I was pursuing really worth it?

Then came a telegram from South Africa- there was a case for me from Dada Abdulla and Co. There were travel fees included and a total of 105 pounds would be paid. I decided I basically had no future in India so might as well give the opportunity a shot. I then took leave for South Africa immediately. I pray for success in this foreign nation. Counter-intituitively I also hope for some kind of challenge; I wish to see a new part of the world and overcome obstacles to claim my pride. Till next entry... I bid farewell.

Success!-1891

I am glad to write that I have successfully completed my stay at England and am ready to return to India to practice law. I would like to apply all that I have learned and am about to sail home. I am looking forward to meeting everyone. I wonder how my mother is- how things are in India. I have just gotten the results from the examinations for the bar exam. I have been studying at University of College London and have all requirements to begin attending cases and practicing law. I look forward to my first case soon...

On the Boat!- September 4, 1888

I am currently on board the boat and feeling pretty good. I thought I would do a quick update in my journal about how I am feeling- the waters are not fairly rough but rather welcoming. I spend hours outside on deck enjoying the extravagant scenery and wonderful food on deck. I have met several English passengers and enjoy learning English and have already began to experience the customs of the land! I am exposed to more gentleman-like demeanor an it is simply quite fascinating.

As of now- I must eat dinner. Until the next entry, bye.

The Death of My Father 1885-1888

This is a mournful post, but I shall try my best to suppress any superfluous feelings of regret or disdain. Although the death is quite tragic I am still moved by the fact I couldn't spend his last few minutes with him(father.) My uncle got that privilege while I was the one who served him with so much love and respect. I feel it unfair and uncalled for. This was what maybe God had intended- that I may not see the horrors associated with seeing my father die within my own hands. I am still lost and confused.. who to turn to? What will my new occupation be? With whom will I associate now? Who is the leader of the family? What will I become?

These questions all poured into my mind as I began to examine the consequences of what had just happened. I am myself still ambivalent about the way my father died-I am not too sure how or why- all I know is a part of my heart is gone. His health declined rapidly and I am inclined to state that I myself have never seen such a dreadful sight. He was sweating and weak... But reverting back to the topic at hand, for I have begun another digression.

Answering these questions eventually let my family to conclude that I should go to England and study law in order to become a barrister. The colleges in India did not supply extraordinary education- and as I felt that a good education does indeed lead to a good future and job, I agreed to go with my mother and brothers' consent. There were some problems with the caste I used to live with- the Modh Banias they are called. The problems were stating that I was breaking my principles and duty by "wandering off into a foreign land." Apparently I would lose everything and my reputation would be spurned throughout India. I came to realize all these conjectures and false allegations were simply to invoke a sense of aggrandizement towards the "importance" of the caste- similar to a child trying to gain attention by yelling and screaming at parents for a gift. I was not to fall culprit to such claims and made a special vow to my mother before leaving.

I would not : touch women, touch wine, or touch meat. This vow became the core belief and soul to my followings in Satyagraha- later explained.

After my father's death my family began to co

Child Marriage - 1883

As I was growing up I had to face numerous obstacles- I was learning to incorporate exercise into my life, appreciate the arts, learn my school subjects, and augment my interest for books- the list is unceasing. The one obstacle, or most impeding event of life for that matter, would have to be my mother and father's decision to arrange my marriage. But that was not the worst- they had decided to do it at such young age. This fact distressed me to an extent. I feel that anyone at such a young age should not be placed with a burden so immeasurable. Marriage is a serious thing, and it is simply something that cannot be handled by young children. In my perspective, it simply too large of a burden to be undertaken at an age where mature developments have not yet taken place.

Let me inform you that there are two forms of "marriage" that take place in India. One is coined "betrothal" in which the parents decide the fate of their child with other family friends, or also known as rishtidars. Betrothal is violable and can be broken if the child wishes to do so on the basis of a valid and justified reason. "Marriage" on the other hand is a definite arrangement and cannot be violated on any grounds. It appears to me I was betrothed three times before this marriage proposal. I was told that two girls chosen for me had died in turn, and therefore I infer i was betrothed three times. I have a faint recollection,however, that the third betrothal took place in my seventh year of school.

Marriage is not as simple as it seems in Hindu families. The parents of the bridegroom and bride often bring themselves to ruin over it. They use dozens of hours, countless hours of time, and fastidiously choose "perfect" decorations to make everything seem ornate and special. I must give the parents credit for investing so much effort and time. After all- they are looking out for me as best as they can. Thus I am so far ambivalent about the feelings of marriage. On one hand there is the selfish, conceited argument I happen to propose- and on the other end there is my father, my mother, my family, my everything...

.........

A couple more hours have passed by and I am now grounded on the position that marriage best suits me. Recently my father was involved in an accident. I am still shocked! I learned the coach my father was traveling in had toppled over towards the end of the journey. I was deeply disappointed and distraught. What was I to do? I rushed to him and saw he was all covered in bandages and injuries. I was grateful God had let him survive and brought him back to me- my respect for him increased beyond the explanation of words as I heard he was ready to resume the baraat(procession of marriage ceremony.) I am devoted to my parents and now realize that all my happiness and pleasure should be devoted to them primarily. The secondary pleasures of life come after my parents... as they are the ones who have taught me to love, to believe, and to never give up. I have come to confide in God, my bhagwan, more than ever...